They already said "silakan" for this photo.

It's can be frustrating to think that you will never find true love or that you may have had it in the past but let it slip by. But remember that finding the right kind of love takes time and patience and requires you to be in a good place in your own life before you enter into a relationship with someone else.

Think of building a relationship like building a house; you need to create the foundation before you work on the rest of the house. And you need to continue to maintain it even after it's been built. It take time to learn who you are as an individual before you into a partnership with someone else. And then, it takes time to build a long-lasting relationship with that person.

Another illusions is that setting in a relationship that isn't ticking all of your boxes is better than waiting. But when we settle in a partnership, we're doing both ourselves and our partners a disservice. We settle out of a false hope that our partner will change, either through your help or of their own accord.

But you allow yourself to be in a relationship that's not good for you. Whether your partner is cheating-traitor, abusive, disrespectful, or you simply don't have the right connection with them, your sending yourself the messages that better love doesn't exist for you.

But only your partner can fix their own flaws and it is up to you to be the best versions of yourself and it is up to them to want to do the same. And finally remember this, 

Dear... You know what?

It's perfectly normal to feel hurt when you see your ex with someone new. This can happen regardless of whether or not. You've both agreed to break up, after you've already gotten over them or sometime maybe even when you started dating someone new yourself.

The pain of seeing your former partner move on can cause a lot of confusion and doubt. It can raise questions such as "Did you make the right decision to let that relationship go?", "Did that relationship mean as much to them as it did to you?", "Is there current relationship better than the one you had with them?"

While everyone's answer to these questions will be different. Here are some key points that can help you identify what the root cause of that pain might be. When you intertwine your life with someone else's over a periode of time, you and that person will share the most intimate ups and downs together.

Share a closeness with them, and build a world together that only the two of you can see. It makes them your best friend, teammate and confidant.

So dear, when you lose your partnership, you may be grieving the loss of not only the romantic aspect of the relationship, but also the many important roles that person has represented in your life. 

You may feel like you're loss a key part of your support system. Ego and lack of self-esteem may also be factors contributing to your pain. If you struggle with low self-esteem, you may wonder what qualities the new partner has that you don't.

While ego may cause you to wonder why your ex would choose to be with someone else, when you have so much to offer. While it is easy to compare yourself to others, it's counter-productive for you. When going through big life transition, focus your energy toward your own personal growth.

Reflect on the lessons and breakthroughs that you've made from that relationship. Let those discoveries serve as tools to guide you in building other possibilities for your future. The process of healing can come in many different forms.

Life isn't one way street. It's a series of crossroads. Everyone needs a house to live in, but a supportive lover is what builds a home. May we all find the best homes on our respective paths of life. 💌

Love and prayers,

Sena.

Tasikmalaya, 19 October 2021