One of the biggest mistakes we have is that we completely confuse compatibility and chemistry. See we struggle to find out whether we have compatibility, connection, chemistry, or a spark with someone because most of our visions of those things are brought by media; book, music, movies, etc we consume.

One of the biggest pressures we make in our relationships is that we expect the one to be only one.

We want our partner to be the most philosophical discussion we have.

We want them to be the most fun person in the world.

We want them to be the most active, energetic and caring person in the world.

We want them to be everything.

Having similar personal interests is important, but it's not just about liking the same things. It's about being in a similar place in life. Meaning that you're looking forward and if you've chosen to be with someone who isn't at the same stage in life, whether they're ahead and behind you have to recognize what that takes.

If you're with someone where you can't be honest or expressing yourself, you've packing that all in you're congesting it and suppressing it, internally.

That's going to explode one day, at the point. And sometimes we made it seems like our partner can't deal with it, when actually when we take that step and do it in the right way, things change.

Sometimes it's just in our heads that we can't share it with them. When we actually do it makes a big difference. So, don't get caught up in just wanting chemistry. Don't just get caught up in wanting the spark and the joy.

Listen! I'm not saying it shouldn't be there, I'm not saying it doesn't exist. I'm saying that there is more to it. Chemistry is such powerful force that many us confuse it with compatibility and we think that if doesn't have chemistry it's not going to work.

Tasikmalaya, 13 December 2020